Bummer

[mwgfghost]

Hey yall. I was gonna post this in the GRAW 2 PC forums just cause that's where I'm most well known but it is off-topic so I'm posting it here. Last week I found out my grandfather's dying of cancer and it's hit me pretty hard. I was told on my way to school so I haven't been able to focus as well as I could but I have to pass. If not for myself then for my grandfather. He's had cancer twice before and he's just too weak now and is refusing both treatments cause he knows they'll weaken him too much or kill him. So they're waiting for the hospace(not sure how to spell it) to come over and just make him comfortable until he passes. I saw him labor day and all he could do was whisper and if he does eat anything, it's just soup. It hurts to see him like that cause I'm used to seeing him in the front room watching TV or something. When my first grandfather passed I was only 8 or 9 so I didn't really know how to comprehend all of it but I'm 21 now and it sux. I bought an Army hat for myself but since I'm not enlisted yet and he was in the Army between WW2 and Korea, I gave it to him when I visited. He told my grandmother he didn't have one of those. And when I told him how challenging Arabic 2 was, he said "You'll make it." I wanted to tell this to my friend but he hasn't been here for me lately. Worrying more about his ex-girlfriend. So today, to deal with it temporarily, I went for a hike. Discovered a new place. I'm out. Thanks to those who read this.

Edited September 5, 2007 by mwgfghost

[dporter]

Well I hope you find some comfort.

Something I did when my mother developed cancer several years ago was keep a journal during her treatments and recovery. I like to look back at it every once in awhile and reflect how I felt about it back then and how I feel about it now with more experience and clearer thoughts. I did the same when thing when we lost our son Riley in 2004. It really helped deal with a lot of the emotions.

Not trying to mix religion with the boards but I honestly believe I will have the opportunity to be with my son one day and that was the hope that got me through it. I think you can find the same hope and know that moving on may be the better option for him to avoid the excruciating pain of both cancer and the treatment for it.

Good luck.

[Metal_Jacket]

Mwgfghost, your grandfather may be ill and the future is uncertain, but what is a certainty is that he is your grandfather and also the father of one of your parents,

It’s times like this where you need to step up and support all involved, it won’t be easy my friend, but you seem like a person that can handle it and make everyone proud

It was a great gesture to give your grandfather your army cap, I’m sure you made an old man very happy, well done, that’s what I’m talking about.

Best wishes

[calius]

Sorry to hear about your granddad, grand parents rule especially ones with a sweet tooth (the sweet drawer anyone? ).

Sadly on my fathers side they passed away and on my mothers side my grandma (or "mum mum") is not doing too great.

To expect certain friends to be around is sometimes a tricky one, especially with grandparents. I was really really close to my grandma and I was at school when she died. Not many I knew at the time had that same thing happen, what was odd was most people don't think much about it becuase its "old" grandparents. You can be close to them as your direct mum & dad but people do see grandparents different. It was if I shouldn't have been that upset ... "its only your grandparents" ?

I did find that odd when I was younger. Anyway mate for what its worth when the times comes he will be away from the physical pain and if nothing else thats something to value or take from it, aswell as your memories (they don't go anywhere they stay around, like an old friend *smokes pipe* ).

Going for a hike .... nice one .. there is nothing BETTER in a situation to burn off feelings or bottled up emotion than walking it off. Id say its on par with a good chat with a friend in terms of clearing your head.

Its not an easy thing for anyone to deal with no matter who it is in the family, best of luck mate ... and take the positives from it, cups never half empty

I suspect your grandad would say that.

[mwgfghost]

Thanx everybody for your support. One of the reasons my friend might not know what it's like is cause he hasn't had the best relationship with his parents. He did lose a grandfather but he didn't seem to be as close to him as I am to mine. The psychologist said that was a possibility. And I'm doing my best to support all of those involved in the grieving process. Especially my grandmother cause she's gonna be hit the hardest by it. My dad's the one losing a father. He's handling it quite well but mainly because he's the biggest supporter of my grandmother at the moment. Anyways, I gotta get ready for my Arabic 2 class. See ya.

[mwgfghost]

My grandfather passed today. Just sux. Anyways, I'm out.

[Rocky]

Sorry to hear about this. It struck a chord with me too, because like you when I was only young I lost a grandparent, and it didn't hit me at all. When I lost my gran a few years go though, that was a sledgehammer to the temple, so yes, the older you are the more it does affect you. But you and your family will get through it, it'll never leave you, but you'll get through it mate.

[Metal_Jacket]

My most heartfelt and sincere condolences

[mwgfghost]

Thanks guys. The funeral was on September 11th. As if that day wasn't already hard enough for me. But it was nice. The funeral people fixed him up good. He looked like his old self when he was healthy. Had a bit of a smile as if he was getting the last laugh. But I went over his discharge papers and he was in the Army's 63rd Infantry Regiment, Company E of the 6th Infantry Division between WW2 and Korea. He pulled guard duty in Kunsan, Korea and there's actually a book about the 63rd Infantry Regiment in Kunsan around the time he served so I'm gonna get it. But the ceremony was nice. It was my first time at a veteran's funeral. They played taps and the Honor Guard presented my grandmother with a U.S. Flag. I'm not gonna lie to you. I broke down twice Monday and Tuesday cause I just felt like a child again. I spent a lot of time with him as a child. I'd always go over to their house for holidays and they'd come over Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving. And I swear it looked like he was breathing as if he was sleeping. Maybe that's what I wanted to believe. I just wanted to tell him to wake up but I knew that wasn't gonna happen. I always thought that was something they did in the movies but I really just wanted him to wake up. But I held it together as a pallbearer. I was nervous cause it was a big responsibility. I felt as if I honored him though cause the coffin was flag draped. He was a quiet man but if he had an opinion, he'd let you know it. I brought over The Unit DVDs I have to watch with him earlier this year and he was like "That's a good show but I could do without all the romance." And I just laughed cause there's times when I think the same thing. And one of the relatives joked, "Where's his remote?" Cause he would always have the remote control for the TV and he's be channel surfing or changing the volume and my grandmother would say, "Leave it." And he'd hold up the remote control and say, "I control the world." And I just laughed. The last movie I watched with him was Letters of Iwo Jima. Right now I'm in the grieving process but at the same time I gotta begin to heal and try to move on because I know that's what he'd want. And I'm gonna pass my classes cause when I told him about em, he said, "You'll make it." And that's what I'm gonna do.

[WP33]

Well man, the best I can tell you in this case is hang in there. My mom died in March of this year. There are hard days and there are easy days. Trust me, the strangest things can set you to thinking, but it seems as if you two made the best of his latter years. I was too distant (in both usages of the word) and I didn't even know about it until several days after it happened. Count yourself lucky you have those experiences to call back. I wish I hadn't been such a jackass and had made more time for my mom now, so in those times you spent with your grandfather, I envy you, M. My dad's time is probably growing near now, and if I learned anything, it's I should do something about that, as well...

[mwgfghost]

Yeah spend all the time with em that you can. My dad has a lot of regrets not visiting his father more often but I really think he did his best. I actually just got a book on my grand father's unit around the time he served. It's about a HQ unit in Kunsan, Korea between WW2 and Korea. My grandfather was in Company E and that's one of the companies shown on the map so it's gonna be a very interesting read and my dad thinks highly of me for doing the research, finding out what unit my grandfather was in, and getting that book so after I'm done reading it, he'll read it. But yeah. I do have my good and bad days with it. But I'm hangin in there and tryin to stay positive and active.

[SnowFella]

Sorry to hear that mwgfghost...my condolences.

And I have to echo WP's comment about hanging in there. The pain will never really go away but after a while it becomes more bearable. I know it well as I'm still trying to get my head around both my remaining grandparents passing last December. My granddad on December 4th after a long struggle with cancer and my grandmother 2 weeks later...after having a massive stroke at my granddad's fueneral and spending a week unconcious in hospital before passing.

And be glad you had regular contact with him even up intill the end too. I had seen mine once in 6 years and couldn't even make it back home to their fuenerals, something that's likely have screwed me up even more.