Poem: "One AM" Redux

[Ruin]

Some of you might remember that many years ago i wrote a poem that I shared with GR.net. Tonight I finally followed up on it, over 8 years later. I thought I'd share again and see what you all think.

So... enjoy!

One AM Redux

By: Ruin

One AM, as I sit here and write,

I think of the time

I took that long flight.

I joined with a dream in my heart,

knowing

that war could tear me apart.

Ft. Knox was demanding,

but I walked out

With Sabers on my chest.

Time for my first deployment,

A handful

stood by as I went.

Now it is Decemeber, and this is a day

I'll always remember

where I wore no beret.

Our voices are loud,

and our fist

was firm and strong.

But little did I know,

of the punch

reality was going to throw.

So I said good-bye,

not knowing

that parts of me would die.

My family never wept,

my friend never cried,

for strength sets terror awry.

Now its not the same,

I really don't know

why I came.

I don't see fear's root,

barely even a seed

just desperate people in need.

The child with no toys,

looks at me and asks

"why can't I be a normal little boy?

My country I swore I defend

made me stand in Iraq

and wonder, "When will it end?"

I took that long flight,

and I fought the good fight;

Just to come home

to a country unknown.

Oh America! What path lies ahead?

Our founding fathers

are rolling around dead.

What freedoms we lose,

when false security

is what we choose.

Those with one way

tickets had

the most to pay.

Let us not forget

who we were

and what could be yet.

A utopia when we were young.

Now jaded in our age,

we just can't have any fun.

Debates of religion, gender, sex and creed

should all be simple things

we can agree on if free.

So now I hope that my children will see better

knowing that their father

fought for the best.

Not just abroad,

but at home too,

as a rebel with a cause.

We must come together soon

or else we will fail

and America becomes a loon.

I fear the future is bleak

until we can

mentally be on our feet.

One AM, as I sit here and write,

I hope all was for something

when I took that long flight.

[Zeealex]

holy ###### thats long! great poem though

[Ruin]

Haha, thanks Alex. I added a few verses compared to the original.

I had a lady friend look over it and she liked the "raw" feeling of it when I finished, so I decided to keep it this way. This was a one draft sort of thing.

[Zeealex]

it does have that, as your lady friend described "raw" feeling to it, it's a fantastic job, i was never much of a poet, as you have probably guessed, i'm a writer

but that, that makes me want to write poems now nah leave that as your speciality, i'll just rip it to peices and note down analytical comments for my english poetry exam jk

Edited May 17, 2011 by Zeealex

[Ruin]

I really appreciate it Alex. Don't steal my work! hahahaha. I don't write poetry often, and it's more rare for me to share it. I prefer to write and see what comes out. This poem in particular is one I've thought about for a long while. I had to get it out. It motivates me to write more though.

[Zeealex]

by noting down analytical comments, i dont mean steal the work in my exam in 4 weeks i have to pick a poem, and write an essay on what the poem is about essentially so... i think the poems are already picked out though

[Ruin]

Just ask and I'll help.

[Zeealex]

cool, thanks

[Parabellum]

I think it's an outstanding poem, Ruin. It's raw, honest, and thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[Ruin]

Thanks Para! It's crazy to think back to how different things were, in the world and for me, eight years ago. Talk about a trip down memory lane.

[ApexMods]

Thank you very much for sharing this, Ruin. Your poem provides a comforting glimpse into a warriors solemn reflections, as it is very reassuring to see that the big picture does not get lost in the emotional storm you have to go through. I'll try to sidestep political undertones here, but lately I catch myself turning an overly critical eye on the people in the field, mistaking the individual for an unquestioning enforcer of a sometimes questionable system. The poem is a vivid reminder not to fall into this misconception.

[Rocky]

Nice poem Ruin, insightful post Apex.

[Ruin]

Thanks Rocky!

Apex, I understand what you're saying. It is important to remember that we all don't just follow blindly. We're certainly not blind, we see more of it than anyone else.