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GRAW HUMOR via UBI forums


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Posted in UBI forums this is funny stuff :rofl:

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Posted Tue June 20 2006 17:40

Hi,

For some of you Patchaholics that are reading this thread. I have this for you. This should bring any waverers over onto the side of DP GRAW.

After some digging, calling in a few favours and lets be honest some really serious felony blackmail I have managed to uncover a few little known facts about the add-on/patch/grovelling apology for GRAW

you know there are 3 new maps. yes? Unlike the maps that came with GRAW these maps can be used upside down, inside out and back to front giving a total of 3x3x3x3 . 81 new map combinations or a near infinity of options.

The map editor can be used either with keyboard/mouse or you can control it with the power of thought alone.

The Editor help documents are in almost every known language including Walloon and Klingon.

The English version of the the help documents will be in the August patch.

The Cure for Cancer WILL be in the June Patch.

Better impact sensation - you will really feel how little this patch actually does.

All weapons will now have a 50% chance of being modelled on real world weaponry.

Grenades will no longer kill, only stun.

Looks will now kill.

reloading is now possible while running, but only if you are running backwards.

You will still not be able to join a MP game. 'The Black Screen Of Loading' with have the words 'You are not joining the server' to make this clear.

The patch is approx. 8 gig in size compressed (GRIN used their own compression method so its less that 100K when uncompressed)

Later

Rob

Chairman - Campaign to DP GRAW

GRAW is in the toilet, don't let them yank the chain

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Cheers

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:lol:

The English version of the the help documents will be in the August patch.

wow you cant sum up UBI any better then that :rofl:

Better impact sensation - you will really feel how little this patch actually does.

Im dieing here... :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Edited by Prozac360
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As this is the take a dig channel:

Beta Testers are to be Recycled, and used for the testing of the new Windows OS Vista.

So that will mean Microsoft will have 10 yrs of endless bug hunting and update patches for the new OS. :o

The recycled Beta testers will be on holiday after testing for 4 yrs after testing to recover.

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I heard the reason for the patches and the ongoing problems is that they couldn't get more than 4 staff to Co-operate on any part of the game, as soon as they tried the lights went out and they were left staring at a black screen. Either that or whenever the project leader left the room the other 3 all ran around screaming "Mitchell... Mitchell... Man Down... Abort, Abort! :grin1:

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If you zoom in at a specific part of the Coup de Tat map, you're actually able to see 5 Grin developers shaking around with 5 nice mexican ladies while drinking Corona with Lemon. But only if you found the yellow hippo and if you're visiting the map at full moon on a clear Friday August 13th after you sarificed the Grin gods 2 virgins while singing "All along the watchtower" backwards and dancing around a rubber chicken! :D

Edited by Vth_F_Smith
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If you zoom in at a specific part of the Coup de Tat map, you're actually able to see 5 Grin developers shaking around with 5 nice mexican ladies while drinking Corona with Lemon. But only if you found the yellow hippo and if you're visiting the map at full moon on a clear Friday August 13th after you sarificed the Grin gods 2 virgins while singing "All along the watchtower" backwards and dancing around a rubber chicken! :D

:( I don't think I can recreate that :P

Edited by Beers
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