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Declaration of Revocation.....


Dick Splash
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My former 'Irish' boss emailed this to me;

Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your

failure to elect a sane President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves

with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the

revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties

over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she

does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of

you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your

borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further

elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be

circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following

rules are introduced with immediate effect

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then

look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up

"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler

noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form

of communication. Look up interspersed".

There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on

your behalf.

Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",

but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get

confused and give up half way through.

You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of

football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your

borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You

will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper

football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a

difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play

rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve

stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour

like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side

by 2005.

Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it the

"USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train

waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their

names before you eat.

You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if

they give you any merde.

The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your

borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad

guys. "Merde" is French for "######". July 4th is no longer a public holiday.

November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be

called "Indecisive Day." Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all

cars to effect the change immediately.

Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to

ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation and...Have a nice day!

DS

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then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby....

Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL

Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. :rofl:

@ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth :P

@ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. ;)

And warm beer. :nono:

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then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby....

Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL

Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. :rofl:

@ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth :P

@ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. ;)

And warm beer. :nono:

League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL :D:D

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then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby....

Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL

Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. :rofl:

@ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth :P

@ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. ;)

And warm beer. :nono:

League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL :D:D

There'a a reason we Yanks don't play cricket: we're too manly for that 'sport'. We have yet to reach the bombastic heights required for us to trade our stout collective manhood for a cup of tea and stiff-lipped snobbery. :P

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Notice to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Dear Madame,

You are hereby informed that your revokation of our independence has been revoked. You are also hereby commanded to cease in the following activities immediately:

- All snobbery

- Afternoon tea

- Speaking with that ridiculous accent

- Production of horrible B-rated comedies

- Continued fluff and puff by the BBC

In addition, Your Majesty is hereby ordered to immediately inform all of her citizens that they are now subject to the authority of the United States of America. Failure to say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, drink black coffee, and dispose of your dastardly tea will result in severe penalties.

Your Majesty, should you choose to ignore this revocation of your revocation, we will be forced to take the matter seriously, and we may be forced to remove you from the high seat and install our own puppet in your place. We do hear that Mrs. Piggy has been groomed to succeed you in the event you should choose to continue in your snobbery. Madame, do not mistake our kindness for weakness. Should you continue your attempts at revocation, we will have no alternative but to come over there and give you a good pounding.

Good day, Madame

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

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then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby....

Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL

Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. :rofl:

@ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth :P

@ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. ;)

And warm beer. :nono:

League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL :D:D

There'a a reason we Yanks don't play cricket: we're too manly for that 'sport'. We have yet to reach the bombastic heights required for us to trade our stout collective manhood for a cup of tea and stiff-lipped snobbery. :P

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sorry... did you say manly??? :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby....

Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL

Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. :rofl:

@ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth :P

@ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. ;)

And warm beer. :nono:

League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL :D:D

There'a a reason we Yanks don't play cricket: we're too manly for that 'sport'. We have yet to reach the bombastic heights required for us to trade our stout collective manhood for a cup of tea and stiff-lipped snobbery. :P

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Then why did aussies destroy them in the world cup? Well, i spose you could say the Americans weret playing cricket. They were doing something with a bat and ball, but they werent going anywhere :devil:

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