Dick Splash Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 My former 'Irish' boss emailed this to me; Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a sane President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed". There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship." Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "######". July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day." Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and...Have a nice day! DS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arms Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 someone has got to send that to the white house.... it will make the world a safer place if we ruled America again LMFAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 That's funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sup Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parabellum Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hmm... I smell another tea party coming... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 its all true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unseen_Warrior Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 its not true. im american, and there is no way i would surrender to the queen. and football is cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RooK Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 (edited) then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... ← I fail to aknowledge what you have said until you start using proper American English. Edited November 18, 2004 by RooK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordo_Viper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby.... ← Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. @ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth @ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. And warm beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby.... ← Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. @ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth @ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. And warm beer. ← League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supasniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 lets not forget that we owned canada a couple weeks ago 70-0 and for the record, Union is far better than League Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 indeed we did.. last weekend infact.... and i totally agree... Union is far superior to League Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parabellum Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby.... ← Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. @ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth @ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. And warm beer. ← League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL ← There'a a reason we Yanks don't play cricket: we're too manly for that 'sport'. We have yet to reach the bombastic heights required for us to trade our stout collective manhood for a cup of tea and stiff-lipped snobbery. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supasniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 yet you play baseball? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parabellum Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Notice to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II Dear Madame, You are hereby informed that your revokation of our independence has been revoked. You are also hereby commanded to cease in the following activities immediately: - All snobbery - Afternoon tea - Speaking with that ridiculous accent - Production of horrible B-rated comedies - Continued fluff and puff by the BBC In addition, Your Majesty is hereby ordered to immediately inform all of her citizens that they are now subject to the authority of the United States of America. Failure to say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, drink black coffee, and dispose of your dastardly tea will result in severe penalties. Your Majesty, should you choose to ignore this revocation of your revocation, we will be forced to take the matter seriously, and we may be forced to remove you from the high seat and install our own puppet in your place. We do hear that Mrs. Piggy has been groomed to succeed you in the event you should choose to continue in your snobbery. Madame, do not mistake our kindness for weakness. Should you continue your attempts at revocation, we will have no alternative but to come over there and give you a good pounding. Good day, Madame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby.... ← Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. @ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth @ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. And warm beer. ← League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL ← There'a a reason we Yanks don't play cricket: we're too manly for that 'sport'. We have yet to reach the bombastic heights required for us to trade our stout collective manhood for a cup of tea and stiff-lipped snobbery. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ← Sorry... did you say manly??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assault reserve Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 (edited) notice: ENGLISH,IRISH PEOPLE MIND YOUR OWN COUNTRY'S BUISNESS!!!! dont dis our country Edited November 20, 2004 by assault reserve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 we do... but with Bush back in the White House well probably have to look after yours too!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sart Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Try not to let a little fun get nasty guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Sniper Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Assault Reserve set the benchmark.... he's the one who got nasty..i was just demonstrating the classic british humour of Sarcasm! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 then youll be one of the first to get locked up for failure to recognise Her Majesty's Rule.... And how can you call American Football Cool???? its a poofters version of Rugby.... ← Which Rugby is that mate? League or Union? Then there's cricket LOL Watch all the Yanks chuck trying to bowl. @ DS Good one mate. Let them into the Commonwealth @ Para yes- tea. Lovely stuff. White, two sugars. And warm beer. ← League and Union are both better than American Football will ever be..... but i have to agree it would be damn funny trying to watch the Yanks play Cricket...... im just looking foreward to the 2 Union internationals coming up.... South africa this weekend then were gonna tank Australia next weekend LOL ← There'a a reason we Yanks don't play cricket: we're too manly for that 'sport'. We have yet to reach the bombastic heights required for us to trade our stout collective manhood for a cup of tea and stiff-lipped snobbery. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ← Then why did aussies destroy them in the world cup? Well, i spose you could say the Americans weret playing cricket. They were doing something with a bat and ball, but they werent going anywhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 notice: ENGLISH,IRISH PEOPLE MIND YOUR OWN COUNTRY'S BUISNESS!!!! dont dis our country ← Pssssst, tis a joke You know? funny Funny har har??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sup Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 (edited) we do... but with Bush back in the White House well probably have to look after yours too!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!! ← Hey! You guys elected Blair! (sp?) Plus, I'm not old enough to vote. Don't blame me. Edited November 21, 2004 by sup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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