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Turned down by a girl... bc I'm not a Christian


tyovan4
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Well, I was of course romantically rejected yet again. But for a very different reason than other times. This girl and I liked each other a lot, we went to the Prom together, always talking together in school, etc.

I asked her one day if she wanted to be more than friends, told her to think about it. Response comes back that its best if we just remain friends. She sent me an e-mail that night, saying that shes sorry she upset me by saying that. She said she was thinking a week or two before about being more than friends with me, but that there was a big problem for her: I'm not a Christian.

Apparantly this was quite a problem for her. She said her parents would give her a lot of grief for dating a guy who is a non-Christian. She also said its hard to form a relationship with someone that 'disagrees with you about such an important aspect of life'. She thought it best if we both just waited for someone who shares our beliefs to start a relationship with.

I had no problem dating her, even knowing she was devout. For me it wasn't a problem, and it was something that would not become a problem if we used respect and understanding towards each others beliefs. It was apparantly quite a problem for her though.

Does anyone else have any thoughts on this? Would you date someone of another religion, or would you let your child date someone of another religion?

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ah the fun of the dating game, tough luck m8. my ex gf duped me cause "i was too nice", yetwhen i asked her what her perfect bf was she said she wanted to hook up wiv some christian aid worker when she goes to uni, so how the hell am i "too nice" if thats what she wants?

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Blinded by her own prejiduces. Tough for her man, not for you. If she's gonna be like that, you don't want anything to do with her anyway. She's the one who obviously missed a great catch, if she's willing to say "no" because of your religious preference, then you're not missing out on anything special.

That's why I keep my mouth shut. My girlfriend didn't know my religious beliefs (or lack there of) until we had been dating for several months. She's handled it well, we've been together over a year. But if she had dumped me over it, I would have said "Good riddance!" All that aside, her mom was fine with it. A very understanding woman. Heck, the family is Methodist; her daughter is dating me, and her son is dating a Moorman. We've got each end of the spectrum and everything there inbetween, lol.

Ty man, you've found a personal peeve of mine. Religious beliefs are important in a relationship. It's hard dating someone who doesn't agree with you. But, it can still work. If she can handle it, so can you. Besides, you're looking for a girlfriend, not a wife. ;) You can still have fun, in spite of religious beliefs. The goal (at our age) is to have fun. Talking religion or politics isn't the way to do it, lol.

For the brief period I was single my Junior year, there was this girl who I was very interested in. She liked me too, and we got to talking. She is a devout Catholic and pretty close to a Right Wing extremist, lol. VERY conservative young woman. But, very pretty, very nice, and TONS of fun. I still wanted to date her simply for the fact that I know we would have had a blast while dating; politics and religion aside.

I hope that helps man. I know people will disagree with me, tell me I'm stupid, young and have no idea what I'm talking about, but whatever. I've got the experience to back what I'm saying.

There are other fish Ty, and we know you'll keep looking. :)

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Tough luck, mate. Like I already said, if there are two inteligent people involved, there should be no problem...then again, suprisingly few people on this planet are inteligent....just check history books for religious wars.

Personaly, I don't have a problem with anyone having their own beliefs, as long as they are not forcing them on me. You seem to be the same way, but it's amazing how many people are ticked off by that....they just can't seem to grasp the concept of someone else not seeing the world their way. They seem to be happier with their counterparts in other religions, just as rigid in their views...so they can scorn each other and claim how they are right and the other guy is wrong.

But you being tolerant of their beliefs, and at the same time, having your own set of beliefs (which can include beliving in nothing, or so called atheism)...that they just can't grasp. Go figure.... <_<

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It shouldn't matter much. Marriage you are asking for trouble though, so maybe it would be better not to be romantically involved with a widely differing religion. (eg: No prob dating a Catholic girl (I'm Lutheran). I might have more trouble with a Jew but the core belief is similar so maybe not) Then again, I don't know. I tend to feel religion isn't too important between some people.

Heck, I'm making no sense here....

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Blinded by her own prejiduces. Tough for her man, not for you. If she's gonna be like that, you don't want anything to do with her anyway. She's the one who obviously missed a great catch, if she's willing to say "no" because of your religious preference, then you're not missing out on anything special.

This statement is is so arrogant, so judgmental, so prejudiced, that I'm not sure if it puts you in the category of being a hypocrite, being ignorant, or both. There's nothing 'prejudiced' about obtaining and holding onto a set of religious beliefs. If there's anything prejudiced in this situation, it's your longstanding hatred for religion. Get your head out of your butt, brother. Not everyone who disagrees with you or, God forbid, refuses to embrace and approve everything under the sun, is prejudiced or extremist.

I hope that helps man. I know people will disagree with me, tell me I'm stupid, young and have no idea what I'm talking about, but whatever. I've got the experience to back what I'm saying.

You only think you have experience. So you lived in Beirut for awhile. Big deal. So you've lived here and there. Big deal. You're not even twenty years old. You've never supported yourself. You've never made a marriage work. You've never done much of anything except sit in a classroom and do schoolwork. None of us had any life experience at your age. We all think we do, and, in time, we all realize that we knew little (if anything) at your age. The first step toward true wisdom is to realize that you are not wise. Think about that, since you seem to enjoy flaunting your 'experience'. You're ignorant bro. Just like the rest of us were at your age. The sad part is, some of us listened to reason and understood that we were ignorant, and we benefitted from that. You will continue to be ignorant until you realize that you are. And you should know me well enough to know that I don't mean that as an insult. It's an observation, nothing more.

Edited by Parabellum
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Does anyone else have any thoughts on this? Would you date someone of another religion, or would you let your child date someone of another religion?

My wife is from Eritrea, she is black and she is Ortodox while I'm Italian, white and Catholic. The 2 religions belong to Christian one so they are very similar altough not the same. I can say that I have also many friend Muslim and if there is real love (or real friendship) also differences can help to stay together, this is my honest opinion.

Also, I forgot, my wife has also different sex.... :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Locked, Chems?

Too bad, I didn't have the chance to ask everyone what's their position on inter-religious realtionship....or inter- racial, for that matter?

I dated a Jewish girl for a while....and I'm also very, VERY close with a certain Japaneze girl...(we're just friends, honest...)

Edited by Streinger
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Stearing the topic back into more serious waters, I see...right then..

No, I never intended to marry her, and it had nothing to do with religion...more with the fact she was a weitress in a biker bar I used to hang out...we had one summer of fun, that was it.

Come to think of it, it's also against most religion's rules...premarital sex, I mean...christianity, judaism, hinduism, islam...not sure about budism...

S****, if it were up to them, I'd had to marry at the age of 16, or would be a 35yo virgin...somehow neither works for me....;)

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wow i remember why I dont post here, everything I post gets deleted, modded or moved...... the last 2 of which are fine. But I was making a valid post about my dead cats religion and you dont even care. Horrible people. Im off to delete SST right now.

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wow i remember why I dont post here, everything I post gets deleted, modded or moved...... the last 2 of which are fine. But I was making a valid post about my dead cats religion and you dont even care. Horrible people. Im off to delete SST right now.

It's quite simple, post in the correct forum with due regard to the rules, and your post will be fine.

Your "valid" post, that was the one about a "jedi cat", that you anticipated would get the thread "locked"? Uhu.

What bearing exactly does a moderator moving one of your posts into the correct forum, have on SST? You can go ahead and quit your mod anytime you like, but don't try and hang your inablilty to see the project through, on some forum moderating.

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Well, that was a very obvious attack on me based on long-running problems I have had with Para. No bother. We can agree to disagree (as I thought we had), but I am entitled to my opinion. I've run into Ty's situation all to much for anyone to tell me I'm not experienced on it. So, Brother, back off. It's not your place. Things have changed in the past year, and I'm simply not dealing with it.

Prejiduce is the right word, you're just thinking too negatively.

I wont take back any ounce of my last post.

Why do I bother? I'm just trying to help a friend. I've dealt with it before Ty. I KNOW how you feel. It sucks. Like I said, she's too blinded to realize that you're a great guy and would make a great boyfriend. Don't let it get to you man. Yeah, it's annoying, but you will find one who accepts you for who you are. In the mean time, have fun looking! :D

Well that took me a long time to edit... :rolleyes:

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This has become too personal.

I was going to apologise for locking it, but really Ty, you should have known better than start a topic about religion in here, there are too many strongly held viewpoints for such a discussion to stand any chance of remaining civil for very long.

Apologies anyone who is in the process of replying, but this has run it's course.

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