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Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years.

Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys

50 acres of land in the Ozarks as far from humanity as

possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets

groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace

and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation,

someone knocks on his door. He opens It and sees a

huge, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Virgil, your neighbor from forty miles up the

road

..Having a New Year’s party Friday night...Thought you

might like to come. About 5:00."

"Great", says Tom, ! "after six months out here I'm

ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Virgil is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn

you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the

business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More

'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get

along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there

Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to

the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll

definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Don’t matter much; just gonna be the two of us.

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