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Try this for size. It was on the radio last night...

A little Christmas cheer for all From the Australian Bureau of Statistics:

31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate.

Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents.

101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

5 Australians were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextric cars.

3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.

58 Australians are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

and finally:

8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet.

No offence.

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A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

the eye socket? the eye socket?? THE EYE SOCKET???

how the ###### would someone even think of doing that????

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If you said "americans" I would belive each and everything of what you wrote but Aussies?

No offence  :rolleyes:

Funny you should say that, I've heard those same "statistics" used for a variety of countries. People just switch it over to insult a new victim of their choice.

I've heard it with Americans, Irish, Canadians... you name it.

Perhaps some of them started out real and have been exaggerated but... I wouldn't buy it. Then again, I am pretty cynical when it comes to these things. <_<

Wait a sec, this one:

3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

I do not believe. They must have been really old or really young to have a sensitive enough heart to die from that. I do it all the time... it's never done me any harm.

*Falls on the floor spasming and frothing at the mouth* :wacko:

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Ohhh no, call an ambulance. This sucker is giving up on us... (And then they zapp you with 400 volts to get your heart going).

Iv´e know for a fact that pacemakers hate batteries... So if it was someone that haven´t realized that they have one (like my old man, he still acts like he´s 49...) then It might happen...

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Wait a sec, this one:

3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

I do not believe. They must have been really old or really young to have a sensitive enough heart to die from that. I do it all the time... it's never done me any harm.

I agree.. unless they attached a cord of like 20+ 9V batteries... this isn't gonna do much... :unsure::huh:

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I don´t know if you have any experience of those things Yodasplat (except for Gray, Galinsky and Cohen ;)

But those "things" make men do crazy things! :rolleyes:

welll.... i never actually had to "mutilate" myself in order to get chicks :huh:

maybe I would have been able to get more if had ... then again, I would like to keep my skull ... "intact" for as long as possible.

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IIRC - They're a Party Favour that is like a small Firecracker. Two People Grab either end / Make a Wish / Then Pull. As they Pull the Cracker it'll go off with a small bang and the one Holding the Larger end gets their Wish.

;)

Regards,

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@ Slink - Notice the smiley - it wasn't an all out order as it appeared.

But seriously, bag the belgians, dis the danish, make fun of the french, but no attacking the aussies, ok? ;)

And Mac is right, a cracker is like a big 'bon bon' lollie (they are 20 cm long), and when you pull the ends it breaks in two with a 'crack.' Inside there is usually a dodgy paper 'crown' hat, a bad joke, and a plastic toy.

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