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I've always wondered...


WytchDokta

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I've always wondered...

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"

...why "abbreviated" is such a long word

...why doctors call what they do "practice"

...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows

...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid

is made with real lemons

...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food

...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains :sheep:

...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together

...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of

stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (Darn, and that's the only

time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details

inside (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap" (And that would

be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's

"just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating"

(...And you thought???)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body" (But

wouldn't this save me more time?).

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery

after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts).

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And I'm taking this

because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only" (As

opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use" (Somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious....)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts" (Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat

nuts" (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:- On a child's

superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly"

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or

genitals" (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? :unsure: )

:stupid:

Edited by [Wx] .:Nightmare:.
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.:Nightmare:.,Jun 17 2004, 11:06 ] ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections

All of them are good.

I have the answer to the quoted one: because the inmates wives complain that if the needle isnt sterile, it's inhumane.

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...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor

:rofl:

I always chuckle at any product that is 'New & Improved'.

If it is new, then there would be no product before it with any room for improvement...

If it is improved, then there must have been a product prior in order to 'improve' it...

So which is it???

NEW?? or IMPROVED??

:wacko:

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.:Nightmare:.,Jun 17 2004, 11:06 ] ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections

All of them are good.

I have the answer to the quoted one: because the inmates wives complain that if the needle isnt sterile, it's inhumane.

@Crimson (or anybody else that knows): How do you get the quote from [Wx] .:Nightmare:., or anybody with ] in their name, to appear correctly? Whenever I try to quote anyone with ] in their name I end up with something like the quote above. :huh:

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...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor

:rofl:

I always chuckle at any product that is 'New & Improved'.

If it is new, then there would be no product before it with any room for improvement...

If it is improved, then there must have been a product prior in order to 'improve' it...

So which is it???

NEW?? or IMPROVED??

:wacko:

It's like the cans of insect killer....they all say the same thing:

"KILLS BUGS DEAD"

But wait a minute, if they're killed, they're already dead and vice versa. How can you kill something (or some one for that matter) dead?

Dead and killed mean the same thing so you change it to:

DEAD BUGS KILLS :blink:

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.:Nightmare:.,Jun 22 2004, 01:39 ]This one still baffles me:

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use" (Somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious....)

Some one enlighten me please....

My guess is that the meaning was lost in translation. Perhaps its meant to say 'Not to be used for any other use', or something to that effect.

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  • 3 weeks later...
My guess is that the meaning was lost in translation. Perhaps its meant to say 'Not to be used for any other use', or something to that effect.

blistr is probably right.

anyway nightmare great jokes :lol:

my fave is: On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside (The shoplifter special?)

jmcdonald :thumbsup:

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