Ryan243 Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! When you can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. Every woman you see has an exact twin. You fall off the floor... Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! The glass keeps missing your mouth! Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol. I'm not drunk... you're just sober... - HI OCIFER!!!!!! Roseanne looks good. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass. That damned pink elephant followed me home again. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you. You have a Reserved Parking space at the liquor store. I'm as jober as a sudge. You've fallen and you can't get up. When hangovers become an attractive alternative lifestyle - please pass the ice pack.... BeerTender! Get me another Bar! The shrubbery's drunk too, from frequent watering Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagger Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Hahahaha Thats funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadly_sniper22 Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! And oldie but a goodie for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CtheHammer Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Sounds like problems a lot of my peers here at Georgia Tech have. Heck, we are, after all, a drinking school with a basketball/engineering problem. C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteKnight77 Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Georgia Tech has a basketball problem??? I know they made it to the finals and still finished second, but that goes to show that they hung tough all season. I really got to give it to a team that wasn't expected to go as far as they did. BTW you going to Music Midtown?? You are right down in that area!!! I won't be able to go this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Guilty of all of the above Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CtheHammer Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 No not a real basketball problem, play off the idea of being an engineering school with a drinking problem, flip it around and things are a little more accurate . No Music Midtown for me. I'm actually going home tomorrow after taking my last final (Computing for Engineers CS1372 0800 ). Of course, I live in Lawrenceville when not in school, but going to concerts isn't really my thing. I'd prefer to spend my money on the CD and listen to a group whenever I want to . C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supasniper Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Beer Troubleshooting SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamon Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Blacksburg is a drinking town with a football problem Though my favorite is VCU's football team...NEVER BEEN DEFEATED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalker Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 ROFLMAO to ryan and supa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collector*AFZ* Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Yeah, VCU football is almost as good as Longwood's football program...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagger Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Beer Troubleshooting SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. Thats been posted before, but is still great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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