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The real Air Force


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A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at

midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine

holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the

base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. The

young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft,

only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is

frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even

more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about

what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately

and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, "Son, your attitude

and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm going to

personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but punished."

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands up

tall and says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman

in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland for 11 months

without any leave, and reindeer are beginning to look pretty good to me. I

have one stripe; it's two-thirty in the morning, the temperature is 40

degrees below zero and my job here is to pump ###### from your aircraft. Now

just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?"

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  • 1 month later...

Ok, cant remember the name of the book, but in a local rag (then UP Magazine..formerly known as the Porcupine Press) there's an article about the book...

...written by a sled driver about sleds (ie SR-71s) in real life humorous situations...Here's an example you all might like...

A pilot looked around and then pulled out his .38, which he put on the dash. The navigator looked at it and asked "What's that for?" The Pilot arrogantly replied "I use this on navigators that get me lost." A moment later, the navigator pulls out a .45 and places it on his map board. The Pilot asks "Ok, what's that for?" The navigator replies "I'll know when we're lost before you do."

------------------------------------

(roughly..not verbatum..forgive me cant remember the guy's name and it was written in first person perspective, so I'll do it in 3rd...but still funny.....)

So this sled driver and his nav are at 13 miles up over Los Angles. They are monitoring the LAX radio chatter because though military, they still have to know where the local air traffic is and where it's going to be safe. A Cessna pilot clicks in with "Tower? N354 requests groundspeed verification over." Tower replies " Cessna N354, groundspeed verified at 40 knots" A moment later a Beechcraft chirps in "Tower, request for groundspeed verification" Tower replies "..groundspeed verified at 55 knots." About this time, an F-18 pilot arrogantly pipes in with "Tower? Dusty requests groundspeed verification over." A slight pause then "Dusty? Tower. Groundspeed verified at 516 knots over." The pilot shook his head and then that moment he realized that he and his navigator had become a true, working military unit because they both thought the same thing at the same time as the navigation officer clicked the cabin mic. "Tower? This is Angels 6. Request groundspeed verification please over." Longer than usual pause then "Angels 6? Tower. Groundspeed verified at 1,759 knots over" The crosstalk chatter quit for the rest of the day.

:D

When I find the title of the book, I'll post it here (Doc has the ish I got those from btw...). Some funny stuff like :

"Delta flight 67, noise abatement turn at 45 degrees"

"Tower, this is Delta 67, how the hell can anyone hear us at 12,000 feet?"

"obviously you havent heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 707"

Edited by Csmith_Fan
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