Some old, some new, but still a good read.

[Specter 0]

I’ve seem most of these in the past labeled “Murphy’s Rules of Warfare”. So I make no claim of verification for the various attributions. All I know is that they’re darned funny and true. - SOTOPhantm

MILITARY WARNING LABELS

"Aim towards the Enemy."

-Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."

-U..S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are

guaranteed to always hit the ground."

-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

-Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you

least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of

your unit."

-Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just

bombed."

-U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."

-Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways."

-U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."

-Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."

-David Hackworth, Col, USA (Ret)

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."

-Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."

-Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once."

-Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."

-Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."

-Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."

-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

[Cpl Ledanek 247]

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."

-Unknown Marine Recruit

Hmmm, why does that sound familiar?

[Harrm 0]

"Never brag about how good of a shot you are. They might put you up front."

"Swearing loudly during combat is acceptable behavior. Throwing your gun at someone is not."

--Joel and Joel.