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SniperMaN25

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About SniperMaN25

  • Birthday 24/08/1989

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  1. I was walking along and looked to my right and I saw a tango I backed up so he couldnt see me I strafed into veiw and took the shot. As I pulled the trigger I noticed the words Waterboy appear above the "tangos" head.... to late.
  2. lol I myself am not in rotc but I am good friends with him and camp with the rotc sometimes
  3. Just got done reading "Things Fall Apart" and now im reading "Oedipus the King" 10 th grade english
  4. SniperMaN25

    Uncle Bob

    These was posted a while back but its so funny i thought id bring it back The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket an the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?" "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens before they're hatched." "That's a fine story Lucy," she continued. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with with the machete till the blade broke and then kill the last ten with his bare hands." "Good heavens," said the teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Don't ###### with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
  5. That would have to be the funniest thing I have ever seen in my short life of 15 years. LMFAO
  6. This should have been put in the humor theard. This is funny as hell.
  7. SniperMaN25

    French

    BURN is a slang term that us young whipper snappers use when someone makes fun of someone and they just stand there and look stupid. Overall we make fun of the word BURN useing it at random times that arent appropreite. So I guess you could say its a little inside joke.
  8. Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or Oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Republican's Answer: BANG! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
  9. SniperMaN25

    Retired

    I ASKED A FRIEND THE OTHER DAY WHAT HE DID NOW THAT HE HAS RETIRED? HE REPORTED THE FOLLOWING.. I WENT TO THE STORE THE OTHER DAY. I WAS ONLY IN THERE FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES. WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A CITY COP WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET. I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID, "COME ON, BUDDY, HOW ABOUT GIVING A SENIOR A BREAK?" HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET. I CALLED HIM A NAME. HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER TICKET FOR HAVING WORN TIRES. SO I CALLED HIM A WORSE NAME. HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT IT ON THE WINDSHIELD WITH THE FIRST. THEN HE STARTED WRITING A THIRD TICKET. THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE MORE I ABUSED HIM THE MORE TICKETS HE WROTE. I DIDN'T CARE. MY CAR WAS PARKED AROUND THE CORNER AND THIS ONE HAD AN "ELECT JOHN KERRY" BUMPER STICKER ON IT. I TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW THAT I'M RETIRED. Kind of late but still funny as hell
  10. In the beginning God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben & Jerry's and Krispy Creme.. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yea." and woman said, "And another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 2 to size 16. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then brought running shoes so that his children might loose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds. God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and it's 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And Satan said "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...... ......and Satan created HMOs AMEN
  11. I sat in my seat of the Boeing 767 waiting for everyone to hurry and stow > their carry-ons and grab a seat so we could start what I was sure to be a > long, uneventful flight home. With the huge capacity and slow moving > people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and > never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I > simply shook my head knowing that this flight was not starting out very > well. I was anxious to get home to see my loved ones so I was focused on > my issues and just felt like standing up and yelling for some of these > clowns to get their act together. > > > I knew I couldn't say a word so I just thumbed thru the "Sky Mall" > magazine from the seat pocket in front of me. You know it's really getting > rough when you resort to the over priced, useless sky mall crap to break > the monotony. With everyone finally seated, we just sat there with the > cabin door open and no one in any hurry to get us going although we were > well past the scheduled take off time. No wonder the airline industry is > in trouble I told myself. > > Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all that we > were being delayed. The entire plane let out a collective groan. She > resumed speaking to say "We are holding the aircraft for some very special > people who are on their way to the plane and the delay shouldn't be more > than 5 minutes. The word came after waiting six times as long as we were > promised that I was finally going to be on my way home. Why the hoopla > over "these" folks? I was expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be > the reason for the hold up ... Just get their butts in a seat and let's > hit the gas I thought. > > The attendant came back on the speaker to announce in a loud and excited > voice that we were being joined by several U.S. Marines returning home > from Iraq!!! Just as they walked on board, the entire plane erupted into > applause. The men were a bit taken by surprise by the 340 people cheering > for them as they searched for their seats. They were having their hands > shook and touched by almost everyone who was within an arm's distance of > them as they passed down the aisle. One elderly woman kissed the hand of > one of the Marines as he passed by her. The applause, whistles and > cheering didn't stop for a long time. > > When we were finally airborne, I was not the only civilian checking his > conscience as to the delays in "me" getting home, finding my easy chair, a > cold beverage and the remote in my hand. These men had done for all of us > and I had been complaining silently about "me" and "my" issues I took for > granted the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the American > way of life. I took for granted that others had paid the price for my > ability to moan and complain about a few minutes delay to "me" while those > Heroes were going home to their loved ones. > > I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order and minutes before we > landed, I suggested to the attendant that she announce over the speaker a > request for everyone to remain in their seats until our heroes were > allowed to gather their things and be first off the plane. The cheers and > applause continued until the last Marine stepped off and we all rose to go > about our too often taken for granted everyday freedoms. > > I felt proud of them. I felt it an honor and a privilege to be among the > first to welcome them home and say "Thank You for a job well done." > > I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lesson learned. I > can't say it enough, THANK YOU to those Veterans and active servicemen and > women who may read this and a prayer for those who > cannot because they are no longer with us. GOD BLESS AMERICA! WELCOME > HOME! AND THANKS FOR A JOB WELL DONE!!!!!
  12. SniperMaN25

    French

    French Trip An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. Whiting admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to. BURN!!!!!!!!!
  13. Peyton's Place Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and red sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Patriots logo flag, and in every window, a Pat Patriot towel. Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what's your point Peyton?" "Well, why does Tom Brady get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said "Peyton, that's not Tom's house, it's mine." My uncle sent that. He lives in Mass., if you hadnt noticed already. Im a true Carolina Panthers fan and hope that the Eagles destroy the Patriots
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