bkriley
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Posts posted by bkriley
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I like this one.
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more to come as I find good ones.
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I always say "Think before you speak"
That's Funny!
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Rocky wanted to try his new Thread Locking Glue!!!
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I don't want to get into this one! I'm going back to the humor thread it's fun over there.
Just Pic I found I don't really think it should be locked. But maybe next time one of you all lock a thread you can use this!
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Oh yea, I've been reading about this...it seems like forever, it sure looks promising. Put me on the list of "Gonna Buy".
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Nightmare, you are really starting to worry me, bro.
Starting? He's been on about the A-Team as long as I can remember.
Let's not get started on his Sigs and Avas.
his sig has not changed in a week!......what's up??
for a while there it was different evertime I signed on.
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can't wait to play it Viper. Thanks!
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that is awesome!
when you focus on the players and the ball it looks really good....
try not to look at the guys carrying them...there were guys carrying them right??
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yea, I love that scene and their are many more just as good in that movie.
oh and we were not saying a Foot Fetish was imoral...well I wasn't.
Tyovan4 was saying his morals would keep him from..hum..doing what...well acting on his....well never mind let Tyovan4 explain it.
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Incidentally, that bunny passed away in January 2003.
If anyone is interested I will see if I can find that site.
oh man I mean woman you just runined the pic for me now I cry for the poor dead bunny.
JK, yea if you can find the site...
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naw, leave the socks on unless you got a foot fetish!!
haha.. like I said though, I wouldn't do that to her.. freaking morals
yea, I know what you mean "morals" ruined a lot of good times I should of had!
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again I don't know why I laughed so hard? I must be in a silly mood.
if your not laughing just keep looking....you'll start.
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Knock her socks off ! !
Am I supposed to take this literally?
Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to her.. But thanks for the good wishes
naw, leave the socks on unless you got a foot fetish!!
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July 6th it's Jana.
July 9th it's Dorota
Men lock up your girls Tyovan4 is on the prowl.
@Fusaki hell yea count the "Full Contact Treatment" and it may be expensive but I bet the rest of us with Wives and Girlfriends are paying more for our "Romance" !! and sometimes we get turned down!
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well let me be the first to say NO!
JK
I'd buy another expansion too, but it ain't gonna happen.
OMG!
wow, I just noticed suicide commando & Rocky posted almost the exact same response, word for word on the first and third page Scary.
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well let me be the first to say NO!
JK
I'd buy another expansion too, but it ain't gonna happen.
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thank you for starting to mod!
can't wait to play your missions.
Hi I'm Chucky wanna play...........my mission?
sorry had too. Childs Play the movie if you don't know.
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He's gonna slip into another coma when he gets his hospital bill!!!!
@Syncopator -- sweet sig.
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Uncle Kracker - Drift Away
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OIL CHANGE
in Humor
LOL...... I hope you didn't have to type all thatnaw
I'm the fastest "Copy and Paste" guy in the west!
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OIL CHANGE
in Humor
Oil change instructions for WOMEN:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since last oil
change.
2) Have a cup of coffee while oil is being changed.
3) 10 minutes later write a check and leave with a
properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil change: $29.00
Coffee: $ 1.00
Total = $30.00
Oil change instructions for MEN:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
$50.00.
2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive
home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes swearing while looking for lost jack
stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16ths box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; splash hot oil on face and arms in
process. Swear some more.
12) Crawl out from under car and wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and
twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can
to avoid environmental penalties. Drink beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
change tomorrow so you can see his new garage door opener work.
18) Sunday: skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan
full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in
backyard instead of taking it to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Check for Beer. NO luck, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11 to buy more beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Now remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along
with drain plug.
27) Drink a beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch
of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower
gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the ground. Throw kitty
litter on oil spill.
30) Drink a beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain
plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit. Stop blood flow.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December's pinup
poster in left boob, permanently disfiguring her.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required
38) Beer.
39) Beer
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush what's left of the case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
steps 23-43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts - $ 50.00
DUI - $2,500.00
Impound fee $ 75.00
Bail - $1,500.00
Beer - $ 40.00
Total = $4,165.00
Demotivators
in Humor
Posted