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supasniper

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Posts posted by supasniper

    france and Iraq

    in Humor

    Posted

    An Iraqi general summons Saddam's 48 body doubles to a safe house in Iraq.

    "I have good news and I have bad news" he told the doubles. "The good news is, Saddam is alive!"

    Everybody in the room gave a big cheer "Saddam!" "Saddam!" "Saddam!" "Saddam!"

    The Iraqi General then turned to the doubles and said, "The bad news is, he's lost an arm."

    History of Murphy's Law and General Murphology

    in Humor

    Posted · Edited by supasniper86

    then we have Murphy's laws of combat:

    You are not Superman.

    Recoilless rifles aren't.

    Suppressive fire won't.

    If it's stupid, but works, it's not stupid.

    Don't look conspicuous. It draws fire.

    Never draw fire. It makes everyone around you nervous.

    When in doubt, empty the magazine.

    Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

    Always keep in mind that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

    If your attack is going well, it's an ambush.

    If you can't remember . . . the claymore is probably pointed at you.

    All five second grenade fuses are three seconds.

    Try to look unimportant. The enemy may be low on ammo.

    If you are forward of your position the artillery will be short.

    The enemy diversion you're ignoring is the main attack.

    The easy way is always mined.

    The important things are always simple.

    The simple things are always hard.

    When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

    Incoming fire has the right of way.

    No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

    No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

    Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

    If the enemy is in range, so are you.

    Friendly fire isn't.

    Anything you can do can get you shot ... including doing nothing.

    Make it too tough for the enemy to get in ... and you can't get out.

    Tracers work both ways.

    The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

    Radios will fail as soon as you need something desperately.

    When both sides are convinced they are about to lose . . . they are both right.

    Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

    All weather close support doesn't work in bad weather.

    The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.

    The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you're standing.

    The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.

    REMFs are everywhere.

    The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other . . . and have no time to help the infantry.

    Remembr, your weapnos and equipment were made by the lowest bidder

    Precision bombing is normally accurate within plus/minus one mile.

    Cluster bombing from B-52s and C-130s is very, very accurate. They always hit the ground.

    Murphy was an 11 Bush

    Perfect plans aren't.

    The easy way generally gets you killed.

    The side with the fanciest uniforms losses.

    Armored vehicles are bullet magnets; a moving foxhole that attracts attention.

    If you are short of everything except enemy, you're in combat.

    No plan survives the first few seconds of combat.

    Ammo is cheap; your life isn't.

    It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.

    If you can't see the enemy, they still may be able to see you.

    Final protective fire doesn't.

    You can win without fighting, but it's a lot tougher to do. And the enemy may not cooperate.

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