A friend of mine works as a network admin and came across this....just superb.
Actual letter of resignation from an employee at XXXXXX
Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
Dear Mr. Baker,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct
superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my
co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only
You are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little
nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my
Office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.
was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were
apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees,
who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and
for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
simple as "save as" still gives you too many options. You will also
never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and
explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective
telling you what a PC is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality
than you ever will.
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that
may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their
talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial
evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and
laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a
full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation,
however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say
to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly
call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I
you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and
I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which
I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of
your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going
to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to
them like the techno-###### you really are. Suffice it to say I have
never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that
those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring
of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please;
I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to
anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be
open to the public. Never ###### with your systems administrator. Why?
Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day,