Welcome to Ghost Recon.net Forums

Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to contribute to this site by submitting your own content or replying to existing content. You'll be able to customize your profile, receive reputation points as a reward for submitting content, while also communicating with other members via your own private inbox, plus much more! This message will be removed once you have signed in.


Alerts to Threats in 2011 Europe: by John Cleese


The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror

alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are

"Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire

that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the

country's military capability.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and

have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,

though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A

Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940

when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from

"Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a

"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish


The Scots have raised their threat level from "###### Off" to "Let's get the

######." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have

been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to

"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat

Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to

"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher

levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat

they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy

can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to

"She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I

think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is

canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final

escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

XD that made my day (well, morning :P) thanks for posting Apex :))

Edited by Zeealex

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now